Getting to Yes: Tips for Negotiation

2022-10-09

William Ury’s talk, "Getting To Yes With Yourself", is full of practical information for negotiation, managing conflict and self reflection. I look forward to utilizing many of the points William made in my role as a technical leader at Capital One.

William mentions a situation where he was verbally berated for 30 minutes by the president of Venezuela but he remained calm by “going to the balcony”. He thought about his key interests and those of the others involved and responded accordingly. This is an area I want to improve on. I want to hone my ability to consider the perspective of others, to remain calm and above all else to keep my eyes on the prize. Arguing or even attempting to reason with someone who is angry is not likely to lead to a fruitful outcome. The more I listen and understand the more likely I will be able to influence and to arrive at an outcome that will be beneficial for all parties involved.

I also want to ensure that I am making the appropriate separations. For example separating brainstorming from evaluation and being hard on the problem but soft on people. Doing this will facilitate more options and likely lead to mutually beneficial outcomes. I work with people that at times view negotiations as a zero-sum game but this presentation has reinforced my belief that for me to win does not mean that the other person has to lose. The pie is not a fixed size. I want to use my negotiation “superpower” to change the game, or the narrative, to one where each party can achieve a successful outcome.

William introduces and defines the term BATNA which means “Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement”. I’ve heard this term before but never understood its meaning or value until now. With this newfound knowledge I plan to determine my BATNA before entering into negotiations at work so that if an agreement is not possible I can redirect my efforts to my BATNA. This will allow me to care about the agreement but not too much and thus be in a position to negotiate from a place of confidence.
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